I wrote this one to illustrate the feelings of a whole lot of folks who are plain sick and tired of the way things have been playing out.

It may make some uncomfortable, some angry, and others less isolated in their observations and building resentments. It’s the voice of some fed-up folks who are fixin’ to be a lot less passive.

I will admit a percentage of this is hyperbole. But after looking back over it when I stopped to let the keyboard cool down, I also had to admit, given the behavior of a lot of politicians and political zealots recently, it’s not a particularly large percentage.

I’m not referring here to the medical efficacy of the masking of Texas and America. Honestly, I think the jury is still out on that one. There is indeed some merit to it. I actually agree with it under some circumstances. But there is also plenty enough manipulative political agenda involved to poison the waters and generate a hard edge of defiance. As such, right or wrong, it has become a focal point for strong feelings. And it’d be a helluvalot lot easier to just laugh it off — if it didn’t ring so darned true.

When the election score is in full doubt,

we’ve got to run in circles scream and shout.

We must have panic, stoke the fear,

when our very best guy is way in the rear.

Zaid fired first in 2017,

“The coup has started” — time to get mean.

Then CNN and MSNBC,

joined the NFL and took a knee.

Whilst Stormy fumbled and the dossier tanked,

For those kids in cages, Obama got thanked

Collusion failed, the phone call flopped,

Impeachment fizzled, the circus stopped.

Bring in Clapper! — a whistleblower, blue,

The 25th Amendment, try that one too!

Nothing is working, what’s up with this guy,

He just shakes it off, no matter what we try.

The economy is booming, we can’t have that!

We need something else to hammer that flat.

Release the hornets and pandemic true,

shut down the country with a spooky new flu.

You must stay at home, don’t you dare work,

Especially in churches deadly things lurk

The places we like will always be open,

The places you like just keep right on hopin’.

Budesonide? Lord No! — Ivermectin neither!

You must avoid all meds till you’re on a breather.

Hydroxychloroquine won’t work, don’t even try!

Just take your symptoms home and wait there to die.

If any doctors say different, we’ll shut ‘em down quick!

We can’t have anything help you from all getting sick.

Nursing homes are full, but won’t be for long

Not with Cuomo and Whitmer and Wolf running strong.

What we’re forced to do to our golden age folks,

Is the stuff evil in practice and of nasty mean jokes.

Sure you can talk on a tablet or phone,

But we’d really just as soon you left them alone.

Your kids’ education? Don’t be a fool!

No way on Earth they can go back to school!

You must socially distance and wear the damn mask,

We’ll all vote by mail, a simple enough task.

Whenever ballots are needed, they can always be found,

From thousands of extras just laying around.

As for the results, we’ll know what they are,

By the number of ballots found in the trunk of a car.

And if the virus fades too soon or people just don’t buy it,

We’ll put torch to racial strife, then let Antifa riot.

Quarantine the healthy but indulge a protest.

Chuck a brick at a cop along with the rest.

Burn, loot and murder, meh, that’s OK by us.

But try to sing in church? We’ll pitch a helluva fuss.

Trump hates our veterans , thinks they’re all suckers,

Put that on your hat, you ignorant truckers.

Blood will run in the streets and the cities will burn,

Then we’ll invade the suburbs until you fools learn,

Orange man bad, and all conservatives stink.

We don’t care what you want, don’t care what you think.

So shut up and cower, like you’ve been told to do,

This whole thing’s got nothing to do with all you.

You’re just the rabble — deplorable jerks,

You don’t know anything about how this all works.

Your jobs have no meaning, we’ll just send you your funds,

Then we’ll soon be around for your Bibles and guns.

And remember none of this has been about you,

It’s just an opportune time to run a socialist coup.

Now shut the heck up and put on your damn mask.

From the hot mic here at The Paper Radio — yeah. I wasn’t any too sure what to do with all that either.

Dan Beard is a 13-year Paris import who dabbles in Linux and photography. He has a 30-year history of writing content and columns for newspapers and magazines. His columns are published on Thursday.

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(1) comment

Wylie McIntire

Being a fan of your column, I find this one to be outstanding! You always make excellent points expressed so well! We "right thinking" patriots need to see our views and values expressed because we are being constantly bombarded with the other way of thinking. I appreciate The Paris News for printing at least one column of substance. By the way, there was an editor at The Paris News who had fantastic columns also, whose name was Connie Beard. Any relation?

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